Moonlighting

Well, I guess I should level with you guys.

I've been cheating on you. Pretty badly too.

You see, it all happened when Fran sent me an email with a link it in to a job site that said it was looking for bloggers and was wanting to pay them. I of course jumped on it and got accepted.

I was fairly pleased (note, the theme from Rocky was playing in my head for like, 3 days) and so got to work. And kept at work. I produce something there every two days or so, and it is all about the books I read and the authors I admire. But I promise you, it is written like I write everything. www.aliterati.com.

Please go check it out, I hope you like it.

Josh.

p.s. I will keep updating this blog, at least once a week. Or at least, I will try to.

What a Tool!

Well, this being wednesday it's my day off so I decided that I would take some time to write some stuff down. That's pretty well my plan for each wednesday now. Spend as much time writing and getting stuff done as I can. Also planning on getting a haircut today.

I was talking with James Inglis and we spoke about the fact that sometimes I just don't want to go to Powerhouse, the ministry time for 18-25 year olds, on a friday night and there are times I would rather stay home and do some writing or relax without people around me. I spend alot of time with people and sometimes I need my space. Other times I should just shut up and be where I ought to be with people so I can grow. We laughed and joked about the fact that there are leaders out there that would judge our walk with God by one's committment to getting to Powerhouse. We also laughed at the suggestion that I should go to Hillsong Bible College and do a pastoral thingy. I was thinking that if I do go, that I would do a bachelor of theology. James agreed. "Josh, doing the pastoral classes you get taught a certain mindset, a certain way of thinking that wouldn't suit you." Those words struck pretty true. I think a certain way. No surprises there. Other people think in other ways. This is also no surprise. One thing we spoke of though was that some christians tend to go to town on other christians think differently to them. I try not to, but I know my intellectual chavunism (someone please tell me I spelt that right) sometimes does get the best of me. But I did say something fairly interesting. You can't judge me as being a bad hammer when I happen to be a screwdriver. Let me clarify a little.

Paul said that every part of the body of Christ is different, unique, all suited to different purposes. The body cannot see without the eye but the body is not all one eye. We also have the stomach, the liver, the brain, the ear, the hands, the feet and the colon (I am Jack's colon, I get cancer, I kill Jack). In my case, I know what I am suited to. I can write, I can think. I can see stuff that others can't. I can be pretty wise from time to time and I can think differently. I am NOT a street evangelist. I cannot lead worship. I cannot jump up and down excitedly going "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" In a high pitched voice everytime the speaker makes a good point. There is stuff I can do, and stuff I can't. I'm okay with it, I value it. The right for me to value and judge the worth of these characteristics is out of my hands and thank God for that. But it gets to me sometimes when a preacher gives a message about a certain kind of attitude, or gives a definition of a trait that is so closed it leaves it no room to grow. I came up with a saying a wee while back, I keep it in my head. "Don't get down on me, cause I don't get down like you."

With all that said I guess it doesn't leave much more to be said. Well, maybe a few things. Reading through the Gospels I notice that all the twelve were very different people. Peter was a jerk, John was a sissy, Thomas was a bit of a loonie (seriously, the guy might have been bi-polar) and Paul was a fight-picker. What I also noticed was that Jesus never told them about their personality. He rebuked their character, or lack thereof, but He never told them that they had to all be the same. He left their personalities to themselves. I think that every individual is like me, an image and likeness of God made by His own hands.

Josh

I would like to say right now that I apologise to anyone I have offended by insulting their way of thinking when I was not supposed to. Likewise, I now forgive those that have insulted mine when they were not supposed to. And I apologise to everyone I have ever gotten crappy with when they insulted my way of thinking when they WERE supposed to.

The Pointy End Of Christianity

Everyone please note; I didn't write this entry. A man named James Inglis did. You can find his blog at www.blog.clafhn.com. Anyways, enjoy.



First things first - this title is borrowed from Josh. He said he'd hurt me considerably if I stole his line and didn't credit him. He brought it up in conversation and really got me thinking...

We emphasise all the benefits of Christianity when we preach - freedom, forgiveness, wholeness, grace, favour, prosperity... But at the end of the day, a lot of those are about ME and how they make MY life better. We sugar coat it to make it appealing, and in some ways, palatable. But there is a sharp edge that we are slower to share with people because it hurts. Some things hurt, but we can look through the pain and see the great results (for ME) on the other side. But some things have no such resolution...

That to which I refer is dying to oneself. When I die to myself - my dreams, desires, thoughts, opinions, feelings, emotions - I am not doing it because it feels good. Some try to emphasise the end result being so great, or they take some masochistic pleasure in putting themselves through pain. I'm having thoughts and feelings that are not sinful in and of themselves, but I know in my heart that following through with them is not in my best interests or the interests of others close to me. They're selfish, and meet a need that I feel I have in my life. Even if I didn't follow them through to conclusion, I could enjoy myself indulging in these thoughts and feelings.

As I die to myself, I cut these off in their tracks: I refuse to think the thoughts or feel the emotions. Somehow I know that it's in my best interests, but as I'm down there in the trenches of day to day life, I don't necessarily see this big picture. I don't have a carrot placed five steps ahead of me to keep me walking through. All I know is that a voice whispers in my ear, "Trust me, this is somethings you need to do." And to be honest, I don't always hear that. Sometimes you're just left with the dull ache of nothingness, as 'self' has been buried but is still banging on the lid of the coffin, begging to be let out: to be felt, experienced, lived...

This is the pointy end of Christianity - the end that pierces flesh and starts to rip out that which does not glorify God. That which does not promote the call of God on my life. That which does not build others up. I don't continue along this path of gradual martyrdom because it feels good, because that just isn't the case. I don't continue because God has directly told me to cut specific things out. I continue because of a haunting conviction that this is the right thing to do, that He will increase and I will decrease whatever the cost to me. Bringing glory to God has NOTHING to do with me or my comfort levels - it really is and always will be all about HIM.

This post may get my ass kicked, or at least get random passers by to kick it.

But hey, what's life without a little random ass kicking now and then?

I think I am one of the least australian australians around. I don't really like cricket, I don't follow any footy team (of any code), I don't drink beer, I am not a mad sports fanatic (I enjoy when we win but I don't really watch any game in particular), I spend more time reading than I do surfing (I can't surf at all), I am not particularly fond of country music (apparently in some areas that is important), I very rarely use any slang that most aussies do use and I have a tendency to respect people who achieve.

I guess this all comes down to what I have been reading in the paper recently. So often we tell people that if they live here, they must have "Australian Values". I've been wondering what they are. Are they the values where we scorn everyone that doesn't think, act or talk like us? I hope not. Are they the values where we let anything go as long as it is funny? I REALLY hope not (despite the fact that I could get away with murder if that was the case). I think the main cut and thrust of such an idea, to have values inherent in a populace is a good thing, but I think we need to be careful as to the values we want to encourage.

Before we look at other cultures and how their values are different to ours, we should look at our own values, and what we are doing to strengthen them.

Josh.

What is Love?

According to Webster’s Dictionary it is many things. It is a feeling of attraction, benevolence, and a close tie of kindred nature. It is also closely related to sex, which I guess surprises no-one. But is it so easy to sum up with just a few sentences? I don’t think so. I think the only way to completely define it is to look at the way it changes the people that it affects. What does love do for a man?

There’s a lot of stuff I love. I love my coffee, I love my music, I love books too (I drink at least 3 cups a day, listen to music all the time and have almost 500 books, perhaps obsessed is the better word). And hey, I really do like that stuff. It makes my bookshelves as if they have a reason other than just sitting there taking up space. But I wouldn’t love this stuff if it was just stuff. I love coffee because I actually like the taste (the caffeine is also good), I love my music because I love poetry and good beats and I love books because I love reading. But this is a selfish kind of love cause what I am doing there is simply loving an object as its use is beneficial to me. Love has to be more than that if it is to be anything at all.

Any man that has just fallen in love will probably notice a few things about himself. He’s happier, for a start. He is constantly thinking of what he can do to brighten the day of whoever it is that he is in love with, and his thoughts towards the object of affection change as well. They become much more idealistic, he starts to dream dreams about them, create fantasies around the two of them spending time together. In the right context, this is a wonderful and beautiful thing. The man seems to magically transform into someone much more amazing than who he is, and is eager to become even better because that would please the one he loves. In the wrong context it’s a nasty self serving little bastard that has no regard for the object (in this case this is the perfect word as this kind of thing regards people only as objects) that the man claims to love, only wanting to satisfy itself. This is just lust, and as much fun as it is, it isn’t the real thing.

Ever met a new father? Tiresome, aren’t they? Being from a family of six kids, generally speaking, newborn babies aren’t the novelty for me that they are for a lot of other people. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. As long as their parents take them home when they go. But it’s a wonderful thing to watch a dad cradle this tiny life for which he is partially responsible for having brought into the world, to see a man go from some guy with a woman to a dad. For this man, this man who loves his child, everything has changed. If he is truly in love with his family, all he does is grounded on the love he feels for them. Heavy I know.

From what I’ve seen of love, heard of love, and felt in love and I can be sure of a few things about it. Love isn’t just a feeling, it isn’t just a nice word for a primal urge to spread my seed and it most certainly isn’t something invented by Hallmark in order to sell a lot of cards. Love is a reality.

Josh Z.

Wisdom From Quite an Irregular Source

Warning, I intend to use two not particularly pleasant words in this post. I don't mean Early Morning (granted, that is VERY unpleasant) but I felt it civilised to at least give you a warning.

I will happily confirm the accusations and speculations that I am a bit of a nerd. I play games, I read books, I know alot of stuff, I know alot of details about alot of stuff and I watch lots of animation. One of the animations I watch is Red vs. Blue. It is a Halo/Halo2 based animation which is made by a bunch of guys with an xbox and spare time. In one of the seasons, one of the characters is sent through time repeatedly, trying to fix some circumstances and failing repeatedly. At the end, everything works out well, but the character has something to say about the whole experience. According to Church (the name of the character) "No matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, they can't be any worse. Because that's the way things fuckin' are and you'd better get used to it Nancy. Quit your bitchin'."

Allow me to ruminate a little before the unruly mob finds my address.

If we simply say that our circumstances could be better (yeah, they might be pretty bad and I think only after going through alot of crap it is that I can write this) then we take away from what we are supposed to learn, how we are supposed to grow and what God is trying to teach us, say to us etc. Also, it might mean that He will have to do it again. Do you really want to go through all of that again because you went through it all for nothing? I've also found that there is too much that God can only teach us when we are completely teachable. And we are only completely teachable when we are actually listening to God, rather than filling our life with noise that blocks him out. So don't think things could be better. They couldn't. Simply focus on all that you have to do, all you can learn and don't take your eyes off of Him.

And things could not be worse. I remember a conversation that I had with a friend of mine, Rich Melheim. He was telling me that a friend of his gave him a series of books to read about financial wisdom when he was a quarter million dollars in the hole. He told me that his friend had said that unless you are learning about how to use your finances correctly and wisely, you are being a terrible steward over what God has given you. In this case, you must consider your thoughts to be a form of finance. If you are not being wise with them, you are being a terrible steward over what God has given you. And He will not abide that. The fruits of sin are death, so to think with sinful thoughts (and to live even a part of your life, the part in your head, outside of His will is prideful, which leads to sinfulness, which leads to division from God) will lead you to death, more than likely faster than you think. So do not think about how things could be worse. As it says in Ecclesiastes all we can do is enjoy our eating, drinking, our work and love and serve God. So do that.

So, there you go. Not the most eloquent of my posts but I have to admit, I liked it.

Josh.

King Without a Crown

Okay, this is a dude you guys NEED to check out.

The guy's name is Matisyahu, which is the hebrew equivalent of Matthew. A practising hasidic orthodox jewish guy that produces some very high quality reggae music. His lyrics are brilliant.

King Without A Crown by Matisyahu

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my G-d all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my G-d, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Chorus

Bridge: Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown Thunder!
Let the blessings come down
Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Searchin' to the sky and beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus

Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exhile for too long

Dudes, seriously. Go to this guys site, check him out and then go buy his album. Now.

Josh.

p.s. the 19th of august is coming up. 25 years ago this 19th of august a monumentous event occurred. I was born. Maybe you guys should be talking amongst yourselves.